Friday, February 4, 2011

Marriage: The End of MY and the Beginning of OUR

I hate pink weddings. Fuchsia? I'm okay with that, especially when paired with orange. I can even deal with pink being used as an accent color, but when the primary color of the wedding is a soft, pastel pink it drives me nuts. Maybe I'm just silly, but when I go to a wedding and the groomsmen are wearing soft pink vests/ties, I just get this image in my head of a bride-to-be standing over her fiancé and informing him that she likes pink and the groomsmen will survive if they wear it for one day. Seriously, what kind of guy willingly wears soft pink?  Maybe my issue with pink weddings has less to do with the color and more to do with how the media tries portray things.

Watch a wedding show on TV, just pick one. I can guarantee you that at some point during the 30 minute show you will hear the lines "do what you want, it's YOUR day!" There just seems to be this mindset going around that weddings are all about the bride. Yes, the bride gets to wear the big fancy dress, but last I checked, weddings require a groom (or second bride, or two grooms!) too. A vital part of a healthy marriage is the ability to compromise, to learn how to be flexible, and meet each other half way. The wedding should reflect this as well. After all, if a couple can not find compromise in the year or so that they are planning their wedding, how are they supposed to get through the next fifty years or so of life? 

The wedding should be a celebration and representation of the couple. The groom should have equal say as the bride in all aspects of wedding planning. If a bride's favorite color is pastel pink and she would like her bridesmaids to wear that color, go for it, but that bride should also allow her groom to choose something that he likes, in a color he likes, for his groomsmen to wear. The same goes for decor and every other little detail. My fiancé could care less about what flowers we have, or what the centerpieces look like, but he wanted to have significant input on the music, food, and cake, he also chose exactly what he and the groomsmen would be wearing. In the end, we are creating a wedding that we are both happy with.

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